The Perilous Mission
by Aleandri
Summary: DouWat Watanuki is sent on a very perilous mission that has the whole shop scared...that it wont go as planned. What did the mystery customer wish for that only Watanuki could make come trueat schoolafter hours...Read for a laugh, scare, or just for fun


The Most Perilous Mission

By: Aleandri

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, but one day...Oh, yes, one day...

Summary: A dark stormcloud has descended over the shop that grants wishes. A mysterious customer has a wish that only our Watanuki can make happen. The inhabitants of the shop are uncharacteristically grim. Is there more to this mission than the boy is being led to believe? What's a spaz to do? Play the part of pawn in the scheme concocted by three perverts, maybe?

-HE WAKES UP WITH A START-

"...!"

Watanuki awoke with a start to the feeling of his head slipping off the smoothe wall it had been propped against. Jerking his arms out to catch himself, he realized just how stiff and slow his body felt. That thought, along with any others that might have been going through his head, were quickly replaced by pain as his skull cracked loudly against the floor. The impact sent his glasses skittering to rest a few feet away.

"Son-of-a...!" He croaked, his voice dried up from lack of use.

He lay there, upside down, for several moments trying to take stock of his situation._ Why is my entire body sore and cramped? _Looking around he realized that he was in one of the school's restroom stalls. _Why the hell am I in here? _And finally, with a start, he asked himself the most important question of all: "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING LAYING HERE WITH MY HEAD ON THE DISGUSTING BATHROOM FLOOR!?" He nearly knocked himself out in his hurry to simultaneously recoil from the floor, scrape the microscopic germs from his face and hair, and maintain the balance of the rest of his body on the toilet seat, all within the scant feet of space the stall provided.

Breathing heavily in an attempt to calm himself, he picked up his glasses and replaced them on his face.

Suddenly, he remembered how he had ended up in the school bathroom after hours. It was all that malicious witch's fault, he thought to himself, remembering back to the night before.

_He knew something was up when he walked into the shop and was greeted by eerie silence. "Maybe there's a customer." Watunuki hoped to himself, tiptoeing cautiously through the dark and ominous hallway. Finally, he arrived outside the door of Yuko's room. He carefully pressed his ear to it, trying to make out any voices from within. At first, there was nothing. "There's no way she's in there and not causing a ruckus," he thought to himself, letting out a sigh of relief from the nervous pressure that had been building up inside of him. He turned, planning to head to the other parts of the house to look for any trace of the missing residents. _

_"Watanuki!" The shout pierced him like a knife of ice, causing his body to buzz with shock. Before he could recover from the surprise of being caught offguard, the door to Yuko's room was slid open by stone faced Moro and Maru. The two girls held identical haunted looks in their eyes as Watanuki slowly passed them and entered the familiar room._

_The first thing that caught his eye was Yuko. To his utter amazement, the witch was sitting stiffly on her fainting couch instead of sprawled out languidly as per her usual MO. She stared intently at the floor with a somber expression on her uncharacteristically pale face. But, what frightened Watanuki to his core, more than anything since his arrival at the shop tonight, was the fact that Yuko was wearing a startlingly plain-__**unrevealing**__-black kimono._

_Watanuki tried to contain the cold shiver of fear that seemed to be inching its way up his spine. Swallowing loudly, he stuttered, "Y-Yuk-ko...?"_

_For several seconds there was no response. Then, to the boy's relief (or fear), she spoke slowly and quietly:_

_"Watanuki...(pause). Watanuki, I have a new and very...risky... mission for you." Her eyes finally rose from the extravagantly colored carpet up to the boy's own, but they still seemed to be miles, maybe even world's, away. Watanuki realized he was shaking uncontrollably, but made no effort to control it. The room took on a dark chill._

_Dredging up all his courage, he asked shakily, already dreading the answer, "W-what k-kind of mission?" _

_There was no answer for a few more seconds, then, "A new customer came to the shop. Their wish is one that...that only YOU could possibly help them with ...at your own peril." The last part of this statement was barely a haunting whisper._

_Watanuki felt cold, empty, and, most of all, scared. He wondered what would happen if he flat out refused to help the witch with this mission. All debts aside, he doubted if anything this serious was ultimately worth his spirit-free future. He thought back on all the times he had ever been chased, attacked and/or nearly eaten alive by evil spirits. There were a lot of memories to think back on..._

_Clenching his fists, he decided._

_"I-I'll do it! Whatever it is!" _

_Yuko seemed to come out of her deep thoughts at this statement._

_"...Very well," the witch slowly muttered, "You will need to hide in the second floor restroom of your school tomorrow until night has come. That is all I can tell you. The rest is hitsuzen..."_

_Watanuki stared blankly at her all of ten seconds before something snapped him and he was back to his usual spasmodic reactions. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT'S ALL YOU CAN TELL ME!?!?" He shrieked in disbelief, "YOU CAN'T SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME TO TRAIPZE AROUND AN EMPTY SCHOOL WAITING FOR SOMETHING BAD TO HAPPEN! FOR ALL I KNOW THIS CUSTOMER COULD BE AN AX MURDERER OR AN ESCAPED LUNATIC!! AND THERE'S NO WAY I'M ASKING THAT SMUG BASTARD DOUMEKI FOR HELP!! AND WHAT WAS THAT PART ABOUT "AT MY OWN PERIL"?! AREN'T YOU EVEN WORRIED THAT I COULD BE KILLED!?"_

_"...Watanuki..."_

_The boy froze, all the fear of the past few minutes returning like a huge weight in the pit of his stomach._

_"...Good luck...," she whipered, before slipping back to that far away place of untold horrors that awaited the petrified boy._

_Taking this as his cue to escape the heavy atmosphere of the room, Watanuki made to turn away and leave. But just as he started to walk shakily past somber twins, he heard a sound like like a small sob. Turning toward a large pile of cushions in the back left corner of the room, he saw quite possibly the most horrifyingly unnatural and disturbing image of his life. Makona sat crying atop one of the large, flat pillows. To the right of the little pastry-like creature was a completely full bottle of sake, cast aside like it was of little importance to anyone._

_Watanuki ran. _

_He barely paused long enough at the door to change into his shoes before running all the way to the safety of his home. _

_He didn't sleep at all that night. Images of of everything that had occured that night flashed on the back of his eyelids every time he so much as blinked, lingering on that last image of a full bottle of sake..._

_-A WITCH EARNS HER NAME-_

_Meanwhile, back in the shop right after Watanuki's breakneck departure, Yuko's head hangs down, bangs covering her eyes in dark shadow. Her mouth, frozen in the seriousness of a straight line, slowly curves upward. Two shiny beads of light glow in the darkness where her eyes would be. A chilling chuckle rips through her entire frame. It's joined by a higher pitched but equally malevolent chuckle from the back left corner of the room. The twins hold one another in mock fear. The sound of a sake bottle being opened echoes in the room..._

-A BOY PLAYS HERO-

Shivering violently from his memories of the previous night, Watanuki slowly exits the stall and crosses the restroom. As quietly as possible, he pushes open the door leading out into the hallway, wincing as it creaks loudly and sends echoes down the long stretch of hallway.

He looked around the door and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Sure, the hall was dark; the only light being from the half moon outside the windows that lined the outer side of the hallway. And yeah, it was empty of the warmth of life that he was used to seeing in it. But, his quick glance turned up nothing that appeared evil or even out of place.

While waiting in the silence of the dying echoes, a new sound reached Watanuki's ears._ It seems like it's coming from the end of the hall, _he thought to himself. His classes were all on the first floor of this building so he wasn't sure what rooms were down there.

He hesitated, fearing that whatever dark fate awaited him on this mission would be tied directly with the mysterious sound. Breathing heavily from fear, he considered his options. (1) He could ignore the sound, go the other way, find the staircase then an unlocked door, and live to be a year older. (2) He could barricade the bathroom door from the inside and camp out here until morning. Or (3) Be a man, investigate the sounds, and likely have various pieces of him found all over the school the following morning...or worse... He swallowed deeply trying not to think of #3 for too long.

Suddenly, the sound at end of the hall became louder and clearer. Watanuki froze as he realized it was the distinct sound of a girl calling desperately for help. Without thinking of his personal safety he darted out of the bathroom doorway and down the hall. With the skill of someone far too accustomed to being tricked by evil spirits, he noted that he didn't fill any evil aura coming from the room he was approaching. He breathed a sigh of relief before calling out to the girl.

"Excuse me," he called, "I heard you shouting. Are you stuck in there?" He checked the door handle, expecting it to be locked, but gave a startled and decidedly un-manlike shriek when it easily gave way, opening with an eerie creak. Beyond the door, the dim moonlight from the hallway windows did not penetrate at all. "H-hello," he whispered, "Are you in there? Do you need help?"

He realized he was looking into pitch black darkness that could have held **anything**. Immediately deciding it would be to his benefit, he began to back away quickly.

At that exact moment, the loud sound of a door bursting open at the other end of the hallway caused the boy to shriek again and without a thought to his previous fear, he lunged into the pitch black room, landing on something extrememly soft. Just as the door was about to swing shut behind him, a dark hand caught it and wrenched it open. Now Watanuki was trapped by a large figure draped in shadow.

So he screamed. No. REALLY SCREAMED. The kind of scream that had no ounce of male pride in it. The kind that would make a three year old girl stop her own screaming and bow down before him. It sounded, even to his own ears, like he was a pre-pubescent girl. But he didn't stop. All the past days events rushed back to him and he realized with the kind of calm acceptance of the doomed that he was about to die. With his last conscious thought before passing out, he cursed Doumeki.

( While the bespectacled boy is unconscious, Makona slips out of the room, handing a jingling set of keys to the mystery figure, then bounces off cackling darkly.)

-TRAPPED AND CORNERED-

He awoke with a start in a very dark place. A jolt of panic washed over him as his memories came back. He froze immediately, listening for any sound around him to tell where he was and more importantly, if anyone (or thing) was with him. The silence pressed in around him everywhere and he began to feel that he was safe from whatever had tried to attack him, when the silence abruptly ended.

"Oi."

"AAAAAAAHHHH-. Wait a minute. IS THAT YOU YOU STUPID CREEP!!??

"..."

"IT IS YOU! WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE DID THE GIRL GO?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? AND WHERE IS HERE!? WHAT KIND OF ROOM IS THIS?! I CAN'T EVEN FEEL THE FLOOR! IT'S LIKE I'M SITTING ON PILES OF SHEETS! ..." Watanuki paused. Whether to breathe or think about his situation, Doumeki couldn't tell. He waited for the bespectacled boy to finally say what they both knew was coming. Sure enough...

"Are we in a linen closet?"

"Hn"

A low growl followed by an intake of breath issued from where Doumeki imagined Watanuki was sitting.

But Watanuki didn't have a chance to start his tirade on the inconvenience of being in a linen closet with his worst enemy. Out of the darkness he heard movement from where Doumeki was supposedly at, followed immediately by the biggest surprise of the spirit-seeing boy's life. It took him several seconds to actually convince his brain to accept what was happening as fact. He wasn't exactly better off when it finally did.

Doumeki was...he was...that moron was...was...he was kissing him!!!

Watanuki's jaw went slack out of pure shock. Doumeki (ever resourceful, the stunned boy thought through the haze over his mind) took that oppurtunity to deepen the kiss. As soon as Watanuki felt the other boy's hand graze across his upper thigh he realized this was quickly getting out of hand. He found his arms to be working fine despite everything else having damn near stopped functioning, and began to make feeble attempts to push the other boy off him. To his surprise, as soon as he began to struggle Doumeki backed off and seemed to move away in the darkness.

Watanuki was temporarily in shock, and dissappointed that the other boy had given up so easily." NO!! WAIT A MINUTE!! NOT DISSAPOINTED!! JUST SHOCKED!! JUST VERY SHOCKED!!" Watanuki realized a second later that he had shouted his thoughts out loud.

Now completely embarrassed and unable to stand being in the same space as his clearly crazed rival, Watanuki lunged against the wall and followed it around until he located the door. He grabbed the handle and tried to throw it open only to find it was locked tight.

Silence descended.

"...Oi."

"What?!"

"I wanna kiss you again," stated the archer matter-of-factly.

Watanuki blushed furiously giving the darkness of the room a temporary red glow. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING!? WE'RE BOTH GUYS! HELL! WE'RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS! I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GET OFF THINKING YOU CAN SURPRISE ATTACK A PERSON LIKE-"

Watanuki was cut off by a quick kiss on the lips. Just as he began to build up momentum for another tirade, the archer pulled back and whispered, "I really like you Watanuki, so just let me have tonight, and you can yell at me tomorrow."

Watanuki was taken aback by the hint of desperation and longing in the normally emotionless archer's tone. Not only could he tell that the archer was being completely serious, but he actually felt an overwhelming urge to do anything for Doumeki when he broke character to say something so heartfelt. The archer had found Watanuki's one weakness: He couldn't tell a desperate person "No".

_And_, Watanuki admitted to himself, _he didn't dislike the archer __that__ much..._

For once in his life, Watanuki decided to throw caution to the wind. Like the archer said, he could always just yell at him tomorrow.

-THE PRICE OF THE WISH-

The next day, while Watanuki was conveniently off on a errand for the witch, Doumeki appeared at the front door of the shop and silently exchanged a small electronic device with the her. He turned nonchalantly away from her knowing smile, wearing a small smirk on his own face.

"Nice doing business with you, Doumeki-kun!" sang the witch, before running back into the shop and screeching for Makona.

The little black ball of fluff seemed to materialize out of the air itself. Soon the two were surrounded by sake and greedily staring at the little device from Doumeki. Yuko eagerly reached out and pushed REWIND then PLAY on the tiny recorder.

-END-

Hello, readers! I hope you enjoyed this little fic. For those of you wondering: Yes, they did do the naughty as Yuko and Makona will be more than happy to prove by replaying the hours worth of recording. If any one out there wants to make a continuation or anything of this fic, feel free. I'd like to get some reviews, but I know I **never** do and I've read a lot of fics. On that note, I have read all the M rated and romance fics posted in this xxxHOLIC category and all you authors did outstanding jobs!!! Keep it up! And readers, thanks again for taking the time to drop in!!


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